Wednesday, April 10, 2013

God hates martians

The Martian last year was AWFUL! 100% cloud cover, sleet in mile 2, miserable wretchedness worst conditions imaginable. (Naturally it was warm and sunny the days immediately before and after the race)

What's the forecast this year? THE SAME!!!!! Why does God hate martians????

I'm angry!!!!! Experience says I run my best in the SUN and my worst in the CLOUDY DREARINESS. I train for months and then it sucks on race day. I'm either sick and/or miserable weather. What. the. Hell???? Is it seriously too much to ask for health and sun at the same time???

The course is along Hines Drive, which is notorious for flooding. Why does it flood so much? It's supposed to! It was designed as a flood run-off area. Naturally it's been raining ALL FREAKING WEEK!!!! Do we wade through the course in knee deep water? Is the course re-routed? If so, training along Hines for every long run was a complete waste.

The race organizers said: "Shhh...shhh...shhhh... There are plans in place for that...UFOs to puddle hop, hovercrafts for flooded sections....seriously, great question and there is an emergency plan in a locked box somewhere....we just need to find it cause we have never been flooded out  Yet..."

I can't tell how serious that is. The forecast is serious. I hate Michigan. A few years ago, Not So Pure Michigan posted a video called Monsoon Season that says it all: "People think Michigan is a depressed state because of the auto industry. That's not true. We're depressed because it won't f#%^ing stop raining...When children ask why does it rain so much, metro Detroiters can tell them, 'that's God's way of saying F#ck you Michigan.'"

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